


pass me that thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot-pole...

by Dresupi



Category: Thor (Movies), X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Awesome Darcy Lewis, Blow Jobs, Christmas Smut, Crack Treated Seriously, Darcy Lewis is the fandom bicycle and I love it, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Grinch References, Holidays, Love Confessions, Meeting the Parents, Oral Sex, POV Darcy Lewis, POV Logan, POV Multiple, Porn With Plot, Romance, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Smut, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 02:28:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12902010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: It's Christmas morning and her gruff-grumpy-grinchy boyfriend has slept over.How can Darcy convince Logan to partake in domestic holiday activities such as brunch with her parents?  Ifonlythere was a way she could make his Grinchy heart grow three sizes...





	pass me that thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot-pole...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KatieHavok](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieHavok/gifts).



> December 3 - ["You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" - Brian Setzer Orchestra](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbTwmXqoiQM)
> 
> Happy Holidays, Katiehavok! 
> 
> Special thanks to thestanceyg for betaing my terrible Grinch smut. <3

Darcy’s alarm clock beeped on her bedside table.  

She heard a rumbling groan from beside her as an arm (that was not her own) reached out to smack it blindly until it stopped.  

Grinning smugly, she pulled the blanket up to cover her mouth as the other occupant of her bed rolled over to drape an arm across her belly.  

“Merry Christmas, Logan…” she whispered.  

He grunted, something indiscernible, but his lips found her throat and pressed there.  

“I thought you were going home?” she asked, dragging her foot up and down his bare thigh, an innocent lilt in her voice that was frankly too innocent to be real. In short, she’d  _ known _ he’d be there when she woke up. 

“Decided not to,” he replied.  “Figured I’d be fine to get up and get outta your hair this morning.” 

“What do I need to do to get you  _ in _ my hair?” she asked, laying her head on his shoulder. 

“M’ not a guy you introduce to your parents…” he reminded her.  

“Maybe I don’t care about that.”  

With a derisive snort he asked, “Do you really want my crusty ass ruining your Christmas morning brunch with your folks?”  

“Yes, I  _ absolutely _ want your crusty ass ruining my Christmas brunch. My rents haven’t had anything ruined for them in a while.  They’re due a good ruining. And you…?”  She poked his bare stomach and giggled when he twitched.  “You are a life-ruiner.  Might as well be a brunch ruiner too.”  

He groaned, but didn’t move.  “I hate brunch.” 

“I know.”  

“And I hate Christmas.”  

“I know.”  

He sighed, long and loud. The epitome of exasperation. “Just as long as you know that.”  That was as close to acquiescement as she was going to get.  But it was definitely enough for her.  Darcy smiled, cuddling up closer to him.  Her arm snuck around his waist, hand resting on his hip and playing with the waistband of his underwear.  “What time is it?” he asked, his hand moving down to cover hers.  

“Nine-ish…”  she said with a tiny shrug.  “Parents won’t be here till eleven…”  

“That’s plenty of time for me to get outta here…” He reached over to turn on the light, but didn’t get much further than that.  “Two hours.  I can be out in ten minutes if I hurry.”  

“So hurry…” she slipped her leg up and over his waist, rolling slightly so she was on top of him, straddling his hips, but still resting her forehead on his chest.  “Hurry on out, Logan…” Her lips brushed against his skin.

She could hear the smile in his voice when he tried to snark back a reply.  “Kinda hard when you’re on top of me…”  

“Tell me about it…” she teased, rolling her hips forward and accentuating his not-so-little morning wood situation.  

He inhaled, placing his hands on her shoulders and pushing gently upward until her back was mostly straight.  She rocked her hips once more, arching an eyebrow.  “You’re not makin’ this easy on me, are you?”  

She shook her head. “When have I ever?”  

“Never...”  

She pushed up on her hands and knees to crawl down his body. To nudge his knees apart so she could kneel between them.  To tug down on the waistband of his boxers and free his erection.  She glanced up at him.  “This okay?”  

“More than…” he murmured, his hands coming up to rest behind his head as her lips wrapped around him.  The soft, warm flick of her tongue had him gasping.  The squeeze of her hand at his base had him bucking up towards her mouth.

* * *

 

She was all eyes when she did this.  Those gorgeous baby blues were the only things he could focus on when her lips were wrapped around him.  When she ran her tongue up his entire length, coating him with saliva before sucking him deep into her throat.  

“Fuck… Darcy…” he murmured, eyes squeezing shut when she swallowed slowly, deliberately.  

Her moans were muffled, sitting in the back of her throat behind his cock.  They vibrated his entire length.  Made his toes curl. 

He fought to keep his hands where they were, to not place one on either side of her face and fuck her mouth. Not that she didn’t get into that.  Because she  _ did _ .  

But this wasn’t about him taking, it was about her  _ giving _ .  And he had already made his mind up to stay for brunch and meet her parents, and he wished he’d taken the time to tell her before he was balls deep in her throat.  

He’d tell her after.  He’d tell her, and then he’d kneel between her thighs and return the favor.

She moved up his length, slurping obscenely and then grinning up at him. She sucked the tip back into her mouth and gripped the shaft with one hand, bobbing her head and working up to a rhythm that was just to the good side of too much. 

His release tingled, it felt like an itch at the base of his spine, tickling and niggling just  _ there _ .  

“M’ Close…” he rasped, his hands gripping the underside of the pillow and fighting the urge to buck his hips.  “M’ so close, darlin’...”  

Darcy hummed, those blue eyes piercing into his, dark as hell because she was as into this as he was. Her free hand crept up to rest on his hip.  She squeezed reassuringly and slowly took him further back into her throat once more.    

When he came, he closed his eyes.  Because it was almost too much, coming in her mouth while she was watching him.  He felt her swallow, felt the slight gag when the first spurt hit the back of her throat.  He felt his head hit the pillow when he was done, his cock sliding out from between her lips.  

She wiped her mouth.  “You staying?”  

“I was gonna before you did that,” he insisted.  

“I know…” she replied, grinning mischievously.  “But I figured I wanted you in a good mood when my parents get here.  And now you’ll have  _ that _ to remember when my Dad is asking you about your intentions.”  She winked and scooted off the end of the bed, grabbing her bathrobe and heading to the bathroom.  

“Nah, I can just think about how loud you called out my name when I reciprocated.”  

“Gonna have to follow me into the shower to do that.”  

He was on his feet in no time, following her into the bathroom and wrapping his arm around her waist as he pressed his lips to her neck.  “I love you, Darcy. Merry Christmas.”  

Her eyes fluttered closed and she smiled contentedly.  “Do you really? Did your grinchy heart grow three sizes from your Christmas blow-job?”  

“I’ve said it before,” he insisted.  

She turned in his arms, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss him softly.  “Yes, I know. Doesn’t change the fact that you have a grinchy heart.”  

He reached around her to turn on the water.  “Let’s see how you feel about my grinchy heart after you get  _ yours _ , darlin’.”  

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me some sugarplums in the comments, y'all! ;) ;) ;)


End file.
